Blue Monkey Butt

Friday is the day that Hawaiians take it easy and get ready for the weekend. So in that spirit we’re asking a simple question. Head on over to An Island Lifefor more Aloha Friday fun and to sign Mr. Linky if you’re playing.

It looks like my washing machine needs to be replaced. It just doesn’t agitate very well and really, isn’t it all about the agitation? It just sort of half-heartedly vibrates and as much fun as that is for my clothes, it’s not working for me. Also, it’s starting to leave random rust lines on our white clothes. I’ve been putting up with it for a while, but yesterday there was a rust line on one of my husband’s shirts. So today we are going shopping for a new washer. Hmmmmm….

What kind of washer do you have?

Do you love it or hate it?

Thanks and have a happy 4th of July! 

Not much going on today besides rain. I need to make a list, cut out coupons and trek to the grocery store. Going grocery shopping in the summer isn’t fun. I have the kids with me and invariably it costs me more. Ooh…we need popsicles, chips, raspberries, Gogurt…the list goes on and on. I just want to go in and get out, hopefully with a few dollars left in my pocket. Then once we get home someone is bound to say “There’s nothing to eat!” What they mean is there’s nothing to eat right that second. The food didn’t just magically appear in their hands all unwrapped, peeled, washed or cooked at the very moment they wanted it. J-Man is famous for coming into the kitchen and at breakfast/lunch/dinner time and saying

 ”I want something to eat.” 

 ”Okay, I’ll make you some toast/grilled cheese/chicken.”

Then it’s “But what can I have to eat right now?”

“Gee, let me get my freakin’ magic wand and just whip something up so you can eat immediately. God forbid you have to wait 5 minutes for your food when you want it right now!”

So maybe I don’t say the last part, just think it every damn day.

Did you know that USA Network is having a Burn Notice marathon all day?

If you haven’t seen it you really should. Very nice…I mean the show. It seems I have a tendency to repeat myself when I watch the show with my husband.

Me: Did you know the guy that plays Michael Westen grew up 2 towns away from me?

Husband: Ya, you mention it every single time the show is on.

or

Husband: Are you watching this show again? Isn’t there anything else on?

Me: Nothing good.

Husband: Do you have a crush on him or something?

Me: No.

But between us…it’s the or something…just don’t tell my husband.

Besides, when the highlight of your day is saving a buck on tampons you need a little Burn Notice. Just sayin’.

Go watch, tell them I sent you.

Did I mention he lived a couple towns away from me growing up?

Happy 4th of July!  

It’s The Grand Old Flag, as J-Man always says. Not sure why, but that’s what he calls it every single time.

For more WW visit Angie at 7 Clown Circus and 5 Minutes for Mom

Click on the Mr. Linky below and leave your link if you’re participating in WW!

Keely  at The Un-Mom rocks every Tuesday with Random Thought. So go check out her blog , there may be something about zombies if you’re lucky.

Elle

Looks like I’ll be going solo for the Tuesday randomness this week. Stacy just had surgery and since she’s still in the hospital she’s not participating. Although, with the serious pain meds she’s on, I’m sure her thoughts are super random.

I just had my birthday and there’s nothing like a birthday to remind you that you’re getting old and not like aging as in a fine bottle of wine, or like men who end up looking distinguished. Nope, none of that for us women. We just get older and look like Magda in Something About Mary.

 I want to live in a Corona Beer commercial. You know the one I mean, where the man and woman are in lounge chairs on some exotic beach with nobody else around. Just the sound of the ocean and that’s it. Okay, probably not forever, but at least for a good two weeks. At least by then I might be missing everyone.

RTT isn’t as much fun without Stacy. It’s still fun, just a different level of fun. I even miss correcting her spelling mistakes. I bet she’s back next week with all the gory details of her surgery and recovery. I did talk to her late last night and this morning. She said she didn’t remember anything we talked about last night so I told her she kept telling me “I love you man.” because of the morphine, but she didn’t believe me. I have no idea why. I’ve been under strict orders not to make her laugh when we talk on the phone, but it’s so hard to not be funny.

Today is Sissy’s 11th Birthday. It’s can’t believe that my little baby girl is now 11 years old. She’s such a young lady now. Of course we’re in the eye rolling dramatic sigh stage now. Fun! Fun! Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Hey, it’s Monday again, and you know what that means. Time for more crazy, weird, strange, sometimes gross, but almost always funny searches that bring people to our little blog.

1. my husband is a dumbass: Really? That’s too bad. What does it say about you since you married him!?

2. swingers at Disneyworld: Ewwwww! This isn’t the first time this search has come up. It’s just gross, okay, no swingers at Disney World. Besides, aren’t you all too busy “swinging” to go to the parks?

3. What’s on your mind monkey butt:  Okay, is monkey butt supposed to be a term of endearment here or is it meant as an insult or even stranger, do they really expect a monkey butt to answer?

4. Monkey Butt Industries: Ah, yes, Monkey Butt Industries, which will someday be our corporation where we will churn out lots of little blue monkey butt paraphernalia.

5. why do people’s butts look weird: They just do.

6. picture of a monkey smeelin his butt:  What the hell is smeelin and how would a monkey do this?

7. what is a monkey butt tomatoe: First off, it’s tomato, not tomatoe. Doesn’t Dan Quayle have anything better to do?

8.  take off your badge and why don’t I drop ya: Somehow we come up as number 1 of 73,500 results when this is Googled. I swear we’ve never taken on someone wearing a badge.

9. with all due respect youre ugly: first off, you are = you’re not youre. Do you honestly think saying with all due respect really takes the sting out of the you’re ugly part?

10. monkey butt ugly: The whole monkey is ugly, not just it’s butt.

In honor of Elle’s Birthday today, I figured I’d write a quick Happy Birthday post for her.  See, she is the one that does all those fancy videos with the music and stuff.  I on the other hand have no idea what I am doing on here most of the time so no fancy video today.  I’m sure she won’t like the picture of us I put on here, her and I hate pictures of ourselves!  I was trying to find her senior picture which is a really beautiful picture of her……..feathered hair and all!  But of course because I’m trying to do this quickly before she finds out, I couldn’t find it.  Okay, let me talk about my elder sister Elle……I can’t say that she was mean to me when I was little, which is hard to believe, because I was  am an annoying sister!  I always wanted to win at every game, and most of the time it was worse if I won the game than if I lost it.  I’m not a sorry winner, but a sorry loser.  Elle is 10 yrs. older than me, and she would take me on her dates with Mitch (her now husband), we would go miniature golfing, or to the beach, and when they had a family of their own, Disney World!  So growing up I have a lot of fond memories of her.  I have one memory that sticks in my head, when we were younger on holidays I would sneak into her room before our parents woke up.  That was always fun.  Now that we’re both adults (I’m probably debatable in that department) I think we tease each other much more, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  She is my best friend, my therapist, my comedic partner, my cheerleader, and my ….sister. 

I’m sorry I just can’t leave it on a mushy note, let’s sing a birthday song for her…ready…..Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you smell like a MONKEY and you look like one too!

Friday is the day that Hawaiians take it easy and get ready for the weekend. So in that spirit we’re asking a simple question. Head on over to An Island Life  for more Aloha Friday fun and to sign Mr. Linky if you’re playing.

We’re having another birthday party today. Sissy is turning 11 and is having a birthday/pool/slumber party. I’m dreading this even more than J-Man’s pirate party we had 2 weeks ago. In a few short hours there will be 7 tweens racing through my house and be assured there will be lots of girl drama. There will be arguments over what games to play, what movies to watch and it will be loud! There won’t be much sleeping, especially for me. Wish me luck!

I had my share of slumber parties growing up. We would stay up late and play truth or dare and spoons. Nobody wanted to be the first person to fall asleep because we were ready and the unlucky girl  would wake up with their faces covered in magic marker. Which brings me to

Did you have or go to slumber parties?

and

What games did you play?

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Stacy sent me this video and I just had to post it. If you are looking for our Random Thoughts, just scroll down.

Keely at The Un-Mom started Random Tuesday Thoughts and we thought we would join in the fun. Stop by her blog and check out her awesome randomness.

Stacy

Today I had to go to the hospital for my pre-op blood work and urinalysis.  Here’s the thing….I think they need to make special shaped cups for women, because I peed all over my hand trying to get it into the damn thing!  Just an idea!

No offense, but someone needs to slap some sense into Jon from Jon & Kate plus 8!  He is a big, annoying baby!  The new show will be called Kate and Eight…..his show will be called Jon the bald, loser who can’t keep a job, and is a useless baby!

I have a confession to make…my name is Stacy and I have an addiction problem…I am addicted to Quaker Caramel Rice Cakes!  OMG!!  They are soo good!  When did rice cakes become so tasty?  The last time I had a rice cake it tasted like Styrofoam.  If you haven’t tried them, I highly recommend them.  I’m up to a bag a day…it has to be better than a bag of potato chips a day!

Elle

I had a bunch of random crap all set to go, but after I typed it and read it, I didn’t like it. Ya, it was crap. Not really feeling the randomness last night or this morning. As you can tell from Stacy’s randomness, she wasn’t either. WTH? How hard can it be to come up with random stuff? My whole life is random.

Today’s the first day of summer vacation and I’m wondering how quickly my morning peace and quiet will turn into arguing, whining and crying. Oh, you’re thinking it’ll be my kids. Nope, that would be me. I just counted and they have 77 days off. OMG! 77 freakin’ days! Maybe I counted wrong, it’s gotta be wrong. Crap, I didn’t count today……..it’s 78. Okay, deep breath, we’ll get through this.

My husband left for a business trip to Chicago yesterday. He got the news Friday afternoon around 3 o’clock. Pretty short notice for me. Somehow his trip and the kids last day of school were both the same day. So now I get the kids home with no reprieve until Friday. WTH? Wait, there’s no reprieve on Friday. Crap! I almost forgot, that’s the day Sissy is having her birthday/pool/slumber party. That’ll be fun. Last year one girl almost drowned and for some reason her mother neglected to tell me her daughter turned into a panic stricken flailer in water. Ya, she’s not invited this year. So we’ll be suffering through that until Saturday. At least he’ll be home in time to suffer along with me. I hate slumber parties! Then it’s my birthday on Sunday. Isn’t if funny that when you’re a kid you look forward to your birthday like it’s the most important day of the year. You’ll be another year older, a bigger number. It’s just huge. Now, really not so much.

Apparently all the planets were in alignment on Friday because Mitch and I actually got out to the movies and then went to eat at a local restaurant. Without exaggeration, it was some of the worst food I’ve ever had. I should’ve been clued in by one of the specials. It was the “Boston Harbor Plate”. For one thing, we live in Western NY. For another, calling something the “Boston Harbor Plate” really makes it sound unappetizing if you’ve ever actually been to Boston Harbor. It included fried fish, bay scallops, clam strips (Yes! I said clams strips, blasphemy!) and calamari rings. So we steered clear of the “Boston Harbor Plate” but then stupidly ordered the Lobster Bisque. It was more like fake lobster pudding. It was so thick we could’ve eaten it with a fork. Just gross. So we sent that back. The rest of the food was pretty poor. When we got home, I sent an email to the restaurant and surprisingly I still haven’t heard back from them. I swear the email wasn’t all “You’re food really sucked!”

Hey, it’s Monday again, and you know what that means. Time for more crazy, weird, strange, sometimes gross, but almost always funny searches that bring people to our little blog.

1. I am not the dumbass  Really? If you had to Google this, then we’re thinking you actually are the dumbass. Just sayin’.

2. most embarrassing tube top moments Isn’t wearing a tube top embarrassing enough?

3. deodorant on butt for ane Okay, I give up. What’s ane? I do know that whatever it is, it sounds pretty nasty. Such a shame you have it on your butt.

4. monkeys picher another example of Googling while stupid or drunk.

5. gross description of an IUD it doesn’t get any grosser than this

6. blue bum monkey this search came from England…not that we’re implying anything, we’re just saying.

7. big fuzzy monkey butt I guess it’s time to wax the monkey butt

8. monkey butt cream for use after waxing the monkey butt

9. monkeys with strange butts what do you mean by strange?  Are they misshapen or what?  How about how strange it is that you are googling this??

10. monkey butt tattoo once Elle and I are super famous and make a gazillion dollars, I’m going to convince her to get a monkey butt tattoo.  She doesn’t know it yet, so don’t tell her, another one of my super secret evil plans.