Okay, I’m trying to be more efficient this week. I watched last night’s episode of LOST and took notes. Yep, notes. Am I a dork or am I just doing this for the fans? I’m going to go with doing it for fans. As you can see from the picture above of a very dead John Locke. Not to be confused with the John Locke possessed by the Smoke Monster or the John Lockein the parallel universe still stuck in a wheelchair. Have I lost you yet? Every time I think it’s going to reveal something, I get more and more confused. Again I will talk about what is going on on the Island, and then what was going on in the parallel universe (or whatever they’re calling it!)
So Locke (aka Smoke Monster) had Richard (the guy that doesn’t age) in a trap in the jungle. He let him down and Richard told him that he couldn’t “kill him”. Meaning someone else, not Richard. This didn’t go over well with Smokey. I’m just going to call him that from now on, it’s shorter. Smokey goes to the deserted Others Camp and finds Sawyer drunk and shirtless (yea). Since Sawyer is back to being angry and bitter, he convinces him to go with him into the jungle. As they are walking they run into a young, blond boy (of course right?). They both can see the little boy. And the little boy says, “you know the rules, you can’t kill him.” I’m guessing that this is Jacob as a child…..I know, Jacob is dead, and his body was burned, but this is LOST, everyone comes back to life on here, well, almost everyone (those actresses that were arrested for DUI never came back to life when they got killed). Anyways, Smokey runs after the little boy. Sawyer is alone in the jungle and crazy Richard comes out of nowhere and tells Sawyer that he has to come with him to the temple, and that Locke is not really Locke, and that he wants to kill everyone that is on the island, including Sawyer. Sawyer really doesn’t give a rat’s ass what Richard says. He tells him that he knows that isn’t Locke, but was told by him that if he went into the jungle with him, he would tell him why he was on the island. Smokey returns and Sawyer asks, “where’s the kid?”, and Smokey says, “what kid?” Sawyer then asks him what he is. He says that he was once a man, and that he is trapped, but if Sawyer continues with him all will be revealed (bull crap!) On the other side of the island Ben, the Pilot guy, Sun and Llana bury the real dead John Locke. Ben says some nice words at his funeral, “I’m sorry I murdered him”. Isn’t that nice? Back to Sawyer and Smokey….they climb down a rope ladder on a cliff, Sawyer almost falls down, but Smokey saves him. They enter a cave. In the cave on the ceiling are names, most of the names are crossed out. They do show you some of the names, like - 23-Shepherd, 16-Hurley, 42-Kwon, 4-Locke, 15-Ford, Sayid (can’t remember the number). I personally missed Kate’s name, unless they didn’t show it. Smokey crosses out Locke’s name. I’m guessing that the numbers with the names are those same set of cursed numbers (Hurley’s winning lotto numbers, and the code for that computer). I’m also guessing the crossed out names means they’re dead. Sawyer asks why his name is on the ceiling, and of course he gets a cryptic answer. He tells him that he has 3 choices, 1-do nothing, 2-become the new Jacob and protect the island from nothing, or 3-leave the island. He chooses door #3 with a “hell yes.”
Back on the alternate reality, it’s all about Locke. He’s stuck in the wheelchair, and gets fired for going to Australia to go on the walk about. When he leaves the building he runs into Hurley who’s Hummer is parked too close to his handicap van. Hurley says he owns the company and he will help Locke if he wants another job. Locke goes back to the company and is interviewed by Rose. Rose tells him that she has terminal cancer. She gives him a job as a substitute teacher at a school. When Locke goes into the teacher’s lounge, guess who he runs into? Ben, not quite as creepy as he is on the island, much more dorky and he is a history teacher.
Confused yet? Please feel free to comment with any observations I may of missed. I like to watch the episode again the following week with the subtitles at the bottom. There’s always something you miss!
Okay, I know I’m a week late, but I’ve been busy. I actually didn’t even get to watch last week’s episode until tonight! So here’s my re-cap, try to keep up, and feel free to add your comments on anything I may of missed! Thanks to everyone who commented last week, there were a lot of things I missed in the episode! Good clue hunting people!
We’re still going back and forth between the island, and well the real world, which actually could be a parallel universe or a 5th dimension. On the island Sayid is back to life! It’s a miracle! I love what Sawyer said to Kate about it, “He’s an Iraqi torturer that shoots little kids, of course he deserves another go round”. Sawyer then goes rogue and leaves the temple, giving Kate explicit directions NOT TO FOLLOW HIM! Dude, how many times have you said that exact same sentence to Kate? 3, 5, 6 times? She’s not going to listen, she neverdoes! Next Sayid is strapped to a table and is tortured by the weird Japanese guy. You know what that is right? Karma!! You died, got brought back to life just to get tortured just like you tortured people. Karma will bite you in the ass every time! The hippie guy tells Sayid he passed the test, but he’s lying. Hurley asks Sayid if he’s a zombie! I love Hurley, I was thinking the exact same thing! We find out that the Japanese guy can actually speak english (big surprise right?)and tells Jack that Sayid needs to take a special green pill because he’s infected. He tries to guilt trip Jack into it, but it doesn’t work. Of course Jack takes the pill, but then the Japanese guy punches him, and I believe he spit it out. He finds out that the pill contains poison. He tells Jack that Sayid is “claimed” and that a darkness will take over him just like what happened to his sister! (MIA Claire!) Meanwhile Kate, Jin, and two guys from the temple go look for Sawyer. Why does Kate have the ability to “track” people? Was she a hunter? One of the guys says that he was the guard at the others camp that Kate knocked in the head and escaped when she and Sawyer were in that cage together. And we all know what happened in that cage! Kate finds Sawyer in the empty Others camp in the house he shared with Juliette. He tells Kate that he was going to propose to Juliette. Which makes Kate cry because obviously she realizes that she’s not the onefor Sawyer. In the jungle Claire shows up and saves Jin from being shot. Of course she looks like a crazed jungle woman. Like the french woman, but Australian.
Okay off in the parallel universe Kate steals a taxi from the airport with pregnant Claire inside. She tells the driver to step on it, but out steps this guy who says, “I’m walking here”. Did you remember who he was?? Think back waaay far…..he was the science teacher that carried the dynamite and blew up! That was some funny stuff there. Anyways some boring stuff happens, she lets Claire go, etc. Then after she goes through Claire’s bag she decides she shouldn’t of threatened a very pregnant woman. She finds her and offers to bring her to the people who are suppose to adopt her baby. I guess the taxi driver wasn’t in a hurry to report his taxi was carjacked. They show up on the doorstep, and the woman who was going to adopt the baby opens the door. She tells Claire that she’s sorry but her husband left her, so she’s shit out of luck. Claire goes into labor, of course. Kate drives her to the hospital and goes in with her. Of course, she’s only wanted by the feds! At the hospital Claire is tended to by “Dr. Goodspeed”, who is in fact ETHAN who kidnapped Claire in the jungle! Can you say creepy? So that’s it. Here’s the tally of who’s dead, not dead, MIA, etc. on the island.
Still Dead Not Dead MIA Zombie
Juliette Kate Sun Sayid
Rousseau Jack Rose Claire
Hurley Bernard Locke
Sawyer Vincent
Jin
So on Wednesday LOST finally premiered. Let me start off by saying that I have watched this damn show since it started. This is the last season, and they keep saying that everything will be explained. Yea right, that’s what you guys have been saying all along, and nothing is ever explained! Every time I watch it I am more confused than I was the week before! I decided to summarize what happened in the 2 hour premiere, hopefully you can follow along…
In the season finale last year Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Juliette were trying to blow up the big ass magnet that’s on the island. They thought if they did that, then their plane wouldn’t crash on the island….remember, they traveled back in time and it’s the 70’s, they haven’t actually crashed there yet. Makes sense right? So, boom, it blows up. On the other side of the island Locke brought Ben to talk to Jacob. Jacob is the CEO of the island, Ben is his bitch, I mean assistant, he does everything Jacob tells him to do, although he’s never actually seen Jacob. There are some other people that came to the Island on another plane, and they brought a casket, and guess who was in the casket??? Locke! What the Hell?? Yep there’s Locke’s dead body, how is that possible? Just wait, it gets even weirder. It then jumps to Jack, Sayid, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Boone (remember him from season 1?), Sun, Jin, Rose and Bernard on the doomed airplane from Australia that is suppose to crash on the island…….but it doesn’t…it passes over the island, and the camera pans down from the clouds and shows the island under water…kinda like Atlantis or something! We also find out that the airline lost Jack’s dead father. Then we jump back to the island where the big bomb went off, they find Juliette under a bunch of rubble and save her in time for her to die in Sawyer’s arms….it didn’t go over well with Sawyer. Then we see Locke and Ben talking to Jacob in a cave, Locke convinces Ben to kill Jacob, which he does, then they burn Jacob’s body. A bunch of other people come in the cave (which I’m guessing are Jacob’s bodyguards, but they obviously are fired now because they didn’t do their job!) and they shoot Locke. Guess what, the bullets bounce off of him…yep another What The Hell moment. Locke then turns to smoke! Ahh, now I understand, he’s the Smoke Monster of the Island! He kills the bodyguards, then turns back into Locke. If you don’t know the Smoke Monster is like the crazy pit bull of the island, he was probably some one’s pet, but then he went crazy. So then dead Jacob goes to talk to Hurley, I’m guessing because Hurley has mental issue’s he can also talk to dead people. Jacob tells Hurley to bring Sayid to a temple in the jungle. Sayid is dying, in case you didn’t know. So off they go into the jungle and they find a HUGE temple, wow, surprising they never saw the big ass temple sitting on an island! Anyways, they bring Sayid to the temple, the temple people drown him in some magical pool, and he dies. Don’t worry in about 10 minutes he comes back to life. So that’s about it, are you completely confused? I know I am! Also, here is a list of who’s dead, who’s not, and who might be, I’m sure I’ve missed a few people:
Dead Not Dead Maybe Dead
Jacob Jack Claire
Jack’s Father Kate Jack’s Father
Charlie Sawyer Desmond
Juliette Hurley Richard
Locke Jin
Ben’s Father Sun
Stumble it!
