So on Wednesday LOST finally premiered.  Let me start off by saying that I have watched this damn show since it started.  This is the last season, and they keep saying that everything will be explained.  Yea right, that’s what you guys have been saying all along, and nothing is ever explained!  Every time I watch it I am more confused than I was the week before!  I decided to summarize what happened in the 2 hour premiere, hopefully you can follow along…

In the season finale last year Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Juliette were trying to blow up the big ass magnet that’s on the island.  They thought if they did that, then their plane wouldn’t crash on the island….remember, they traveled back in time and it’s the 70’s, they haven’t actually crashed there yet.  Makes sense right?  So, boom, it blows up.  On the other side of the island Locke brought Ben to talk to Jacob.  Jacob is the CEO of the island, Ben is his bitch, I mean assistant, he does everything Jacob tells him to do, although he’s never actually seen Jacob.  There are some other people that came to the Island on another plane, and they brought a casket, and guess who was in the casket???  Locke!  What the Hell??  Yep there’s Locke’s dead body, how is that possible?  Just wait, it gets even weirder.  It then jumps to Jack, Sayid, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Boone (remember him from season 1?), Sun, Jin, Rose and Bernard on the doomed airplane from Australia that is suppose to crash on the island…….but it doesn’t…it passes over the island, and the camera pans down from the clouds and shows the island under water…kinda like Atlantis or something!  We also find out that the airline lost Jack’s dead father.  Then we jump back to the island where the big bomb went off, they find Juliette under a bunch of rubble and save her in time for her to die in Sawyer’s arms….it didn’t go over well with Sawyer.  Then we see Locke and Ben talking to Jacob in a cave, Locke convinces Ben to kill Jacob, which he does, then they burn Jacob’s body.  A bunch of other people come in the cave (which I’m guessing are Jacob’s bodyguards, but they obviously are fired now because they didn’t do their job!) and they shoot Locke.  Guess what, the bullets bounce off of him…yep another What The Hell moment.  Locke then turns to smoke!  Ahh, now I understand, he’s the Smoke Monster of the Island!  He kills the bodyguards, then turns back into Locke.  If you don’t know the Smoke Monster is like the crazy pit bull of the island, he was probably some one’s pet, but then he went crazy.  So then dead Jacob goes to talk to Hurley, I’m guessing because Hurley has mental issue’s he can also talk to dead people.  Jacob tells Hurley to bring Sayid to a temple in the jungle.  Sayid is dying, in case you didn’t know.  So off they go into the jungle and they find a HUGE temple, wow, surprising they never saw the big ass temple sitting on an island!  Anyways, they bring Sayid to the temple, the temple people drown him in some magical pool, and he dies.  Don’t worry in about 10 minutes he comes back to life.  So that’s about it, are you completely confused?  I know I am!  Also, here is a list of who’s dead, who’s not, and who might be, I’m sure I’ve missed a few people:

Dead                             Not Dead                      Maybe Dead
Jacob                               Jack                                Claire
Jack’s Father                Kate                           Jack’s Father
Charlie                          Sawyer                           Desmond
Juliette                         Hurley                             Richard                                          
Locke                             Jin
Ben’s Father                   Sun

Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?

Stacy

Last night I was using the Wii Fit, and when I picked my routine, the wii fit said, “Gee Mom, if you were a dog, you would be an obedient golden retriever”.  What The Hell?  Hey video game designers in Japan, guess what, American women do not like being called dogs, never mind an obedient one!  Who the hell designed this game anyways?  It has more sarcasm and rude remarks than I do!

When I flipped the calendar to February, I looked to see when the kids vacation was.  I was very confused, for some reason they have vacation the week of the 22nd, and they have school on the 15th.  I googled Federal Holidays for this year, and learned that February 15th is President’s Day and is a Federal Holiday.  But the kids have school……What The Hell?  I emailed my friend at school and she let me know that yes indeed the kids have school, and our town celebrates President’s Day on the 22nd.  Really?  Can you just change it like that?  I wasn’t aware that you could.  So this year, I’m changing Christmas to the 27th, that way I can get everything on clearance.

Shortly I’m going to be watching LOST, and I will be saying What The Hell at least 10 times tonight, maybe more…..it is 2 hours long!  I’m still totally confused by this show, but have watched it since the beginning and must see it through.  Note to producers:  If after watching your show for all these years, you end the series by explaining that everything that happened, actually only happened in Hurley’s head in the mental institution, I am going to sue you for all the wasted time I spent watching your show!!!  You have been warned.

Elle

I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I’m having What The Hell Wednesday writer’ block otherwise knows as WTHWWB. What The Hell? How is it possible I don’t have anything to complain about? Good thing Stacy never runs out of stuff to complain about.

In just a few days I’ll be home alone with Sissy and J-Man while my husband takes our older daughter back down to Disney World. While they are enjoying sunshine, warm breezes and the ocean, I’ll be up here in the frozen north trying not to freeze. What The Hell??? I want to go on a trip! I haven’t been on a trip by myself in 10 years. Crap in a crap basket, that’s really awful and depressing. I’ve tried asking for a weekend alone at  nice hotel for my as a birthday or Christmas present, but no one seems to believe I really mean it when I say alone. They also don’t listen when I say all I want for Christmas is a big bottle of real maple syrup. I asked and hinted and asked some more and I still don’t have that bottle of real maple syrup. What The Hell??? If I can’t get a bottle of maple syrup I don’t have a chance at getting a weekend alone at a nice hotel. At this point I’d even settle for a used to be nice hotel.

Friday night there is a talent show at Sissy’s school. She and a friend are in it together. For the privelige of sitting through 2 hours of middle school talent I have to pay $4 per ticket. It’s going to cost $8 for this particular torture. What The Hell?? Sissy did say the money goes to a charity that abuses children. What The Hell?? I think they need to find a better charity.

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keelyat The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you!

Stacy

I cannot wear a white shirt, if I do, I will ruin it the first time I wear it.  I will inevitably spill coffee, chocolate or permanent marker on it.

My husband and our dog are in the running for the loudest snorer, I’m not sure which one will win, guess it depends on the night.

My 9 year old has more of a social life than me.  He came home today and made his “social calendar” so he can let his friends know when he is available.  He even asked me if I had a copier so he could make copies to pass out.  I told him NOT to pass them out to people, otherwise he may have fewer social obligations.

I can’t eat M & M’s without having one of those sugar coughing experiences.  Y’know the one where you choke on the sugar, can’t breathe, and sound like you’re gonna die?  Yea those…you’d think I’d stop eating M & M’s, but you’d be wrong.

Sometimes the side effects are worse than what you’re taking the drug for.   You don’t need the TMI I got going on…

Elle

Our 20 year old daughter leaves for Walt Disney World Friday morning. I won’t see her again until August :(  I hope she has as much fun this year as she did last year. Looks like we’ll be taking a trip to Disney in August when it’s like a bazillion degrees and really humid, but hey, it’s Disney, so we’ll still manage to have some fun. I’m working on convincing my husband to stay in one of the cabins at Fort Wilderness. He doesn’t want to go “camping”.

Happy Groundhog Day! I’ve got a little message for Phil, if you predict 6 more weeks of winter you better watch your back. I know people. Just saying.

I’m thinking I need to buy this for Stacy’s next birthday.

Don’t forget to join us for What the Hell Wednesday tomorrow.

I went to my doctor last week and she is really at a loss to explain why I have this pain again. It sounds crazy, if they took out all that stuff, how could I have pain again? Her suggestion was to try birth control pills for 3 months and see how it goes, thinking that will help calm things down. I took the pills and at her suggestion started them that day. This past Wednesday the pain was so bad I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I called the office on Thursday and explained the situation saying I needed something stronger than Advil because it wasn’t working. They nurse said “Well it can take a month or more for the birth control pills to work.” “What am I supposed to do in the mean time?” The nurse called back and said they had a prescription for tylenol with codeine but I had to come pick it up. Because it was a narcotic they couldn’t call it in. Ummmmmm…I know that’s not exactly true, but I said fine. The nurse said they would be in the office until 5. My husband came home early to take me and we got there at 4:40. Guess what? The office was locked up tight and all the lights were off. I tried the office number and got the answering service. They paged the doctor on call but nobody called me back. Grrrrrrrr.

So this morning I called the office and explained the situation again and asked them to please call it in. Once again, they said they couldn’t and oh, they were sorry nobody was there. Big freakin’ deal. Like that helps me at all.  I would need to come back and get it. I was so angry that I just told her to mail it. I said “I’ve been in pain for 5 months. What’s one more day?”

My next appointment with my doctor is in March. If I’m still in pain she said we could try Lupron which is an injection that puts you into menopause for 3 months. So that’s another 3 months. All the  ”try this for 3 months,” “try that for 3 months” still puts me in pain for another 3 months if it doesn’t work. It’s hard to try to do things normally when there is pain every single day. I get irritated with the kids easier. I’m always wanting to lie down when I’m home. The housework isn’t getting done like it should and I hate feeling this way. I know this isn’t our usual funny sarcastic post but I just had to vent.

Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?

Stacy

I don’t know if you’ve seen the commercials, but there is a show coming on in March called the “Marriage Ref”, directed by Jerry Seinfeld.  It’s suppose to be about real couples with real issues.  And I mean ISSUES!  One commercial showed a couple that fight about how the wife keeps her first husband’s ashes in the living room, and his leg in their closet….yes people I said HIS LEG!!  What The Hell?  Why would you keep it?  I mean it’s a fake leg and all, so it’s not all gross and decaying, but still what the hell is up with the leg in the closet!!!  Another couple fights about the husband keeping his motorcycle parked in the living room….again What The Hell??  You would think these people would need a divorce lawyer not a referee! 

Have you seen the interview with Heidi Montag about all her plastic surgery??  I’m sorry, but she looks so fake and old.  She’s only 23 and she looks much older.  Apparently she had 10 surgeries in one day or something.  When the newswoman asked her what message all this plastic surgery is sending to young girls she said, “that beauty is on the inside“.  What The Hell?  The next surgery she has needs to be a brain transplant!

The other day at work I had to look up a zip code for a city.  I went onto the US Postal Service website and went to fill in the information to get the zip code…..address, city, state, zip code….What The Hell?  How am I supposed to enter the zip code when I don’t know it!  I’m asking you!  Why is there a zip code box when you don’t know the zip code?  Duh

Elle

I was supposed to finish this last night but was exhausted and went to bed as soon as possible. I know, What The Hell?

This morning as J-Man was getting ready for school he started telling me that one of the reasons he doesn’t like school is because a certain boy has been picking on him. Apparently, he makes fun of the fact J-Man brings cereal for snack, the size of his boots (that they’re so small) and is just being plain mean. It doesn’t help that the boy sits directly across from J-Man making him uncomfortable all day long. It’s only 2nd grade, What The Hell is going on? I really hate when kids are mean. So I sent off a quick email to the teacher this morning and am hoping it gets dealt with.

Of course this discussion made our morning a little bit longer and as we ran out the door the bus drove by. Crap! Crap! Crap! Now my whole morning plans are ruined. What The Hell???!!!! In the bus driver’s defense she can’t see our front door from the street, but still doesn’t make me any happier. I only have a short time in the morning before I have to go to work, now I have to add in “drive J-Man to school” on my to-do list. I said to J-Man, if you had only been a little faster we would’ve made it. He was like I didn’t know it was that late. What The Hell????!!! Okay, deep breath. It’s not like I kept it a secret, with the hurry, hurry, hurry, and my constant looking out the window for the bus. I really hate giving up any of those few precious minutes I have to myself to drive to school. Kind of makes me grumpy for the whole day. Pharmacy friends, you’ve been warned.

Hey, What The Hell Wal-Mart deli? This horrible rubber cheese you gave me instead of the Land O’Lakes cheese I asked for really sucks. If I had wanted sucky rubber cheese I would’ve asked the surly deli girl for sucky rubber cheese. But I didn’t, I asked for Land O’Lakes White American Cheese. I’m also angry that I paid for Land O’Lakes cheese instead of sucky rubber cheese. I’m not even sure if complaining would help but you can bet that surly deli girl won’t be slicing me any more sucky rubber cheese because I won’t be using the Wal-Mart deli ever again. It was only the second time anyway and I won’t miss surly deli girl.

If you’ve said What The Hell to something lately, write a post on your own blog, grab our button and link up. Simple.

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you!

Stacy

My 11 year old son has developed insomnia.  To be truthful, it just sucks.  I’ve tried everything, including giving him the herbal supplement melatonin to try and make him sleepy.  I’ve just come to the conclusion that he’s just not going to sleep anymore. 

I think Elle has begun hanging up on me when she’s done with our phone conversation.  This has happened twice now, I’m just rambling on and then it gets quiet and I say, “are you there?”  Nothing……she doesn’t even say bye, just poof and she’s gone.

I hate putting laundry away…..I don’t mind washing it, but I don’t want to fold it and put it away.

My dr. is trying a new medicine to try to prevent my headaches.  She was going to go with a drug that has the side effect of lowering your blood pressure, but since mine is always really low (98/78 the other day), she decided against it.  Probably a good idea or I may be a puddle on the floor.

I’m trying to eat healthy, and exercise.  Last week I bought Fiber One Yogurt.  Without going into too many details, let’s just say my body rejected it, and I will never buy it again.

Elle

Hey Stacy, about the hang-ups? It’s all about me you know.

I didn’t realize how annoying our older dog was until we got another dog that actually tries to be good. Our first dog usually pretends he’s deaf unless we grab a loaf of bread. He can hear the crinkle of a bread bag a mile away in a tornado during a hurricane with sirens going off. The younger dog wants so desperately to be good and it makes him incredibly nervous when the other dog doesn’t listen. He’s all like “Dude, just sit, c’mon, she’s saying sit, just sit, don’t piss her off dude, OMG! OMG! OMG! You’re gonna get us in trouble.” But he doesn’t care, he just continues running around like a gigantic moron until he’s ready to flop down on the floor. Then he has that big goofy dog grin and wags his tail while nervous dog needs a Xanax, a shot of Jack Daniels and a cigarette to calm down.

Yesterday when my husband got home, J-Man was all “Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.” I’m thinking to myself, “say what, say what, say what, damn-it just say what, SAY WHAT!” If I said what at any point during the Dad, Dad, Dad, J-Man would say “I’m talking to Daddy.” and I’d be like “Really, because it seems the conversation is a little one-sided to me.” So I have to wait it out until finally he says “What buddy?”

Tomorrow is What The Hell Wednesday at Blue Monkey Butt. Did something make you say “What the hell?” this past week? If, like us, you have, then write a post, grab our button and link up. Really, What the Hell?

Yes, the Rosetta Stone project is done.

It was a little delayed due to a stomach virus, but we managed to finish it.

Were you expecting The Rosetta Stone Learning Language based software?

This is a replica of the actual Rosetta Stone.

It was created in 196 BC and was found in 1799.

The discovery aided in deciphering hieroglyphics.

See, I actually pay attention to these school projects.

 We’re still waiting for a grade on the Benedict Arnold report.

Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?

Elle

 I’d like to know why some people (nobody specific, I swear) see that the kitchen sink is completely empty, clean and shiny and they still put their dirty dishes in it. Why can’t they just open the dishwasher that is immediately to the left of the sink and see if there are dirty dishes in there and then maybe, just maybe put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher instead of in my clean and shiny sink. Really, What The Hell??

Some bloggers get free Wii games, free trips and cool free products to try out and review. Last week I got an offer that pretty much sums up my luck in a nutshell. This guy Joe (might be his real name) offered to send me a bottle of lice shampoo. Don’t try to tell me you’re not jealous, you know you are. No, we don’t have lice. That was the whole point of that particular post, that we were lice free since a lot of the kids in J-Man’s class had lice. What The Hell, who knew being a blogger could be so freakin’ glamorous.

Stacy

I was on Facebook tonight and after scrolling through my “live feed” I noticed all the “copy this and post as your status” updates.  What The Hell?  I love my Mom, my husband, my kids, my neighbors, zombies, idiots, etc, I don’t need to post it as my status every 2 seconds!.  Isn’t the whole point of Facebook is to have a status?  I’m sure my “friend” list got a little smaller tonight with the status update I left.  Oh well.

Both my boys had yesterday off from school because of the holiday.  The day started off with them both in a bad mood.  When I asked them what was wrong, I got a response of, “We wish we had school today so that we could get a snow day.”  What The Hell?  They had the day off, but because we got 9 or so inches of snow they probably would of had a snow day.  So in their mind it was a waste of a holiday, or snow, I don’t know which one.

The other day on the news the Middle School Principal was arrested AGAIN!  What The Hell?  If you don’t know, he has been arrested 3 times for drunk driving, and is no longer the Principal.  Well, I guess the other day he decided to go drive his car again, and was arrested for driving with a suspended license.  At least he wasn’t drunk this time.

Okay somebody needs to offer Elle that trip to Disney for one of her organs!  She’s grumpy and I get to talk to her on a daily basis….What The Hell people?  I can’t take her being grumpy for the next month!  Help a sistah out!

Grab our button and sign into McLinky if you’ve written your own What The Hell Wednesday post. What the hell?

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you!

Elle

Have you seen the commercials for the new show “Worst Cooks in America“? Apparently the contestants are nominated by their friends and family. Do you really need friends or family like that? Although if someone wants to nominate me for What Not To Wear, I won’t be upset. That stalking they do beforehand is a little creepy though. If they stalked me, they would see me rushing to drive J-Man to school because he missed the bus again and I would probably be wearing my Yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Oh wait, that’s pretty much what I wear all the time. I think I’d have a hard time spending $5000 on myself. I haven’t spent that much money on myself in a decade. I’d be like “Ooh, I can get some really cute things for the kids.” or “I could so stock up my pantry and freezer.” Plus, they don’t let you buy Yoga pants on that show and they’d make fun of my “before” wardrobe and then throw it all away. Never mind, maybe I don’t want to party with Stacy and Clinton.

J-Man has another cold. I swear he gets sick every weekend and then I have to call every Monday and talk to the scary attendance lady. I try to time the phone call for when the kids are getting off of the buses and I think she will be too busy to answer the phone. Then I just get her voicemail and can leave a message. It doesn’t always work. I’m hoping I won’t have to call and talk to her. It’s my only day off alone until next week sometime. The key word is “Alone”. I love being with the kids, but I really would like a few minutes to myself. I’m so selfish.

In a couple of weeks my husband is flying down to Florida with our Disney Daughter. She’ll be starting her second internship there. At first, I wasn’t jealous at all because he was planning on driving her down there and pretty much turning right around and coming back as soon as she was settled. Now they are flying down a few days early, spending a few days at my MIL’s place on the ocean and relaxing. Then they’ll drive up to Orlando, get settled and then my suntanned, relaxed husband will fly back a couple of days later. I admit it, I’m soooooooooooo freakin’ jealous. I’ll be stuck here in the cold and the snow with the 2 younger children and the dogs. On top of that I’ll be missing the Social Media Moms Conference at Walt Disney World that’s due to start the day he gets back. I’d sell one of my kidneys to go but so far no takers. So I’m a little bitchy and will be for a few weeks. You’ve been warned.

Stacy

My oldest son hates drinking water, but he can stay outside for hours eating snow.

I hate the “Flirty Girl Fitness” commercial.  It’s way too long and it’s like watching strippers practice with their clothes on.  I guess once you’ve mastered the work out video you can go get a job at your local strip club.

The last two times I colored my hair I got hair dye on my hand between my thumb and my index finger.  I’m thinking there is a defect in the saran wrap gloves they give you.  Now I have this dark brown spot on my hand which makes people go, “what the hell is wrong with your hand?”  To which I can reply, “I have that Michael Jackson disease, except I’m getting darker instead of lighter”.

Things I yell at my Wii Fit trainer - Yes I had to put my foot down, you told me I could!  No, I don’t know how I gained those 2.1 lbs since last time, if I knew I wouldn’t of gained them!  So what if my leg is shaky I’m holding my other leg behind my head!  So what if it’s been 2 days since I worked out, I was busy! 

Don’t forget to join us for What The Hell Wednesday tomorrow!

Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?

Elle

The other day at work an elderly man told me “You’re a pretty girl when you smile.” What the hell? If I’m not smiling I’m ugly? One of those insults designed as a compliment that some people are experts at giving? Maybe it was just a compliment and I analyze the crap out of everything.

Apparently a mysterious object is going to “whiz by Earth” today. Ummmmmmm…mysterious object? What the hell?? According to the article, “scientists are stumped by what exactly it is”. I hate it when scientists are stumped. What the hell scientists?

Stacy

The other day at work my boss went into the bathroom.  A minute later someone came looking for her, stood outside the bathroom door and yelled her name.  She yelled back, “WHAT?”  To which the other woman replied, “Oh okay, I’ll wait ’til you come out”.  What The Hell?  What did she expect?  Her to open the door to her, or stop mid-stream?  I mean really, how important is your job that you can’t even go to the bathroom?!  Do you think President Obama has people knocking on his bathroom door?  Unless something is on fire, no one is allowed to bother me in the bathroom.

Have you seen that fake piece of grass you’re suppose to put in your house for your dog to pee and poop on?  What The Hell?  Who came up with that dumbass idea?

American Idol try outs….What The Hell?  Need I say more?

Go out, create your own What The Hell Wednesday post and link up. Just don’t be one of those people that link up but don’t actually have a What the Hell post. We’ll have to set the zombies loose and we promise it won’t be pretty.