Blue Monkey Butt

Are Those Hoof Prints On Your PJ’s?

Posted on the November 24th, 2009 under Random Tuesday Thoughts, Uncategorized by Elle and Stacy

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you!

Elle

It’s kind of hard to be random when all I can think about is “Oh crap! surgery! Oh crap! surgery!” The surgery is scheduled for 12:15 and I haven’t been able to sleep for the past few nights. So Monday night my doctor prescribed Ambien for me. Ya, that’s the sleep medication that causes people to drive, eat, bowl, ski, corral herds of stampeding cattle and all other types of activities people used to do while awake. Mostly I need to avoid the eating, especially after midnight so my husband is planning on waking up if I get out of bed. Ummmm, ya, that won’t happen. If I wake up in the morning covered in crumbs with hoof prints on my pajamas I’ll know I’m in trouble.

Last night I heard the fan go on in the main bathroom. I was instantly awake and realized our daughter was going to take a shower. Normally, a shower in the middle of the night is no big deal, but she didn’t know that our normal family tub had morphed into Stephen King Tub. Yesterday afternoon I scrubbed that sucker so hard it was shiny (which for a 50 year old tub is some feat). Well, shiny = slippery and I had scrubbed all those little non-slip strips off. Basically our tub was now a death trap. I didn’t have any more of those strips so I improvised and threw a towel down for the kids last night. I knew she would see the towel and take it out, never realizing she was signing up for a starring role in “Death Takes A Shower!”. Even though I was wide awake at this point I really didn’t want to get out of bed, it was all warm and cozy and once you get out you can never find the warm spot again, so I took a chance that she would have her phone with her and sent her a text message. Of course she had her phone with her in the bathroom at 1am. What was I thinking? I let her know about the death tub and she didn’t move the towel. Phew! That was close. Can you believe my husband asked me if we could wax the tub??? As if it isn’t dangerous enough?

Speaking of husbands, my husband gets leg cramps in the middle of the night causing him to jump out of bed, hop around and yell. This used to freak me out, wake me up out of a sound sleep, heart racing and I’d be looking for the zombies that must be attacking because why else would there be so much yelling? Now, not so much. It’s amazing what you get used to. This happened again a few nights ago. I opened one eye, saw him doing his cramp dance, turned over and went back to sleep. It registered so little with me that the next night when he said “I hope I don’t get another leg cramp tonight” I said “Was that last night?” I honestly barely even remembered it. The leg cramp episode I remember best was the time his legs got caught in the covers and he fell out of bed onto the floor. I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to ask him if he was okay. That night the cramp dance was kind of like break dancing. I can’t even type it without laughing. Really, it’s the little things that make life great.

Stacy

The other day I bought some of that Slim Fast strawberry shake, well actually it was the Walmart brand, but still, pretty much the same thing.  I hadn’t even finished drinking it when, guess what, I had to go to the bathroom!  Yep, apparently that’s how you get Slim so fast!  I’m sorry, but if that’s the secret, forget it, I’m all set.  Oh, and some of the ingredients are: fat free milk, water, Canola Oil, Fructose, Cellulose Gel, Cellulose Gum, Artificial Flavor, and a bunch of other crap I can’t pronounce.  Doesn’t it sound yummy and nutritious?  What I want to know is, why the hell is there Canola Oil in it?  Boy drinking Canola Oil is so refreshing!

Have  you seen the commercial with the actor Luke Wilson for AT&T?  I don’t know what happened to him, he used to be the cute Olson brother!  Now he has his hair all parted to the side like a big dork!  Listen up Luke, fix your hair, it’s pretty pathetic when Owen is cuter than you!

I’ve come to realize that sometimes work can be very similar to High School.  It’s really disappointing when you find out that someone you are friends with has been saying mean things behind your back.  This is why I’m not a big fan of people, and I try to keep my distance.  Grow up people, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Football is pretty much on our t.v. all Sunday long.  All the commercials that are on during football are either for beer, viagra or cialis.  I was in the bedroom folding laundry when I heard our 9 year old son ask, “Hey Dad, what’s ED?”  Oh boy!  I heard my husband say, “oh just a problem men get when they get old”.  Whew!  Luckily he didn’t ask any further questions!

Don’t forget to join us for What The Hell Wednesday tomorrow!