Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?
Stacy
Today I had a really bad day at work, I had totally messed something up and couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. Anyways, I was doing the mail at work, and this woman who is on the new side, came up to me and grabbed my arm. She starting squeezing and rubbing it apparently trying to make me feel better. What The Hell? Personal space, personal boundaries people! I pulled my arm away and said, “I do NOT like to be touched.” So of course she got mad at ME because I said that. Again, What The Hell?? I am not a touchy feely type of person, and I don’t want someone I don’t know rubbing my arm okay? Why am I the bad person here? I sent Elle a text about it and she said, “Without the T in touch, you have ouch.” This is why I love my sister, she can say one thing that makes me literally LOL!!
It’s been really hot and humid here lately and last night we got really bad thunderstorms. Of course we always get them after I’ve put the kids to bed! What The Hell Mother Nature?? You can’t have thunderstorms when it’s not bedtime?? Every single time, it’s like 30 minutes after I put them to bed!! Argh!
Elle is currently on vacation!!!!!!!!!
Okay Elle is off enjoying herself in Disney World right now…..What The Hell? Doesn’t she know we have a blog to write? Doesn’t she know that I never remember how to do the McLinky thingy because she always does it?? Doesn’t she know that this is a team effort? What The Hell??
Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?
Elle
You didn’t think a little thing like being on vacation would keep me from our weekly Wednesday fun, did you? Really, What The Hell were you thinking? Maybe next week I’ll bow out since we’ll be visiting the Mouse but right now we’re relaxing on beautiful Hutchinson Island and it’s great!
We’re staying at my Mother-in-laws place for a few days. Across the street is a beautiful beach, the ocean and a big clubhouse and pool. Monday night we all went swimming around 8. We all had fun swimming after dark with the water so warm. We tried it again last night. Once again we had the pool to ourselves. They don’t have a lot of lights in the pool area. There are the lights in the pool and then some around that pool that are motion sensitive. The whole pool area is gated and you have to use a key to get inside and back out. Since the other lights were out I decided to go over and make them come back on. I managed to get one light on and went over to the other one. As I was jumping around trying to make it come on I saw a shadow on the other side of the fence. I tried to tell myself it was just my imagination but then the shadow started climbing the fence. Holy crap! Instead of running right then, I stood there watching it climb the fence higher and higher. What The Hell?! I froze just like the losers in horror movies that end up as zombie food. It climbed to the top of the fence and then I saw it scamper across the top and I could see it clearly against the night sky. It was a freakin’ huge raccoon and it was locked in the pool area with us! I turned and ran to the pool yelling “Everyone out of the pool now! There’s a raccoon in here!” The kids start yelling and hurrying to get out. My husband is thinking “What the Hell are you talking about?” I’m rushing the kids. Sissy runs over to our stuff and grabs as much as she can. I threw J-Man’s towel on him and we run over to the gate. I’m fumbling with the key, trying to open the gate so we aren’t trapped with the raccoon anymore. I managed to get the gate open and we all run for our SUV as fast as we can. Sissy is yelling “Let me in. Let me in!” My husband is still back by the gate (the one that lags behind always gets it in horror movies. Doesn’t he know anything?) yelling “Where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?” Sissy had them in her hand so I grab them, run back to him and throw them at his feet and run back to the SUV. We all jump in and slam the doors. My husband looks at me and says “Are you sure you saw something?” What the freakin hell???!!! I know what I saw and it was a huge raccoon and I hate raccoons. J-Man said it best “If mom’s afraid of it then I’m afraid of it.” We all agreed that we were done with the whole night swimming thing. I’d rather get a sunburn than get in a wrestling match with a raccoon any day of the week!
Stacy
The other night I went to the gym, and when I got there I could smell pizza. I looked around and there were a bunch of empty pizza boxes on a table. What The Hell?? Apparently Planet Fitness thinks it’s a good idea to fill you full of pizza! Okay, first off I don’t think you are suppose to fill yourself full of food right before working out, and second, why do they think it’s a good idea to do this?? Elle says it’s job security for them. They even had a sign saying to keep the pizza away from the exercise equipment. Yea because eating a slice of pizza while walking on the treadmill is a bad idea right? My friend also told me that some mornings they have free bagels and cream cheese. Again WHAT THE HELL??? How is this promoting a healthy lifestyle?? I know it’s suppose to be the “Judgement Free Zone”, but I’m definitely judging you on feeding your members crappy food!
Posted on the August 1st, 2010 under Family, Fun by Elle
We’re on the second day of our 3 day drive to Florida. We didn’t make it as far as we planned yesterday, a late start and a carsick boy saw to that. After spending an hour at a rest area in Pennsylvannia we were able to get back on the road. So between that and the frequent stops we made it to West Virginia. Finding a hotel was a lot harder than we anticipated. As soon as we pulled in the lot of the first hotel I said “I am not staying here!” There were about 20 mini-vans and SUVs all decorated with things like “We are the Champs!” etc., and there were a bunch of boys running around. It only took me 2 seconds to size that up…lots of excited Little League boys racing around the hotel and taking over the pool……ummmm..no thanks. The next 2 places didn’t have what we needed. Then the next place was also an immediate NO. The grills and plants outside some of the doors suggested that quite a few of the residents were basically living there. We did manage to find a place and after all the troubles finding a room, nobody was complaining about the lack of a pool.
So last night when my husband proclaimed he wanted to get back on the road by 6am he wasn’t too happy at our lack of enthusiasm. Really? 6am dude? This morning the kids were still asleep at 8 and we’re hoping to get out of here by 9. We’ll see.
Here are a few things we all seem to agree on
The GPS would be more fun if it talked like Scooby Doo. You make a wrong turn and it says “Ruh-Roh” or a pirate, “Ahoy matey, heave to port!” or when a rest stop is needed “You scurvy dog! Time to swab the poopdeck.”
Krispy Kreme donuts are so good heated up in the microwave for 10 seconds!
The following post contains dirty language (literally), so if you don’t want to read anything that has to do with poop, crap or shit, please stop reading. So, today Elle sent me a text in reference to um, well, constipation. Let’s just set the record straight that neither Elle nor I were constipated, and the constipated-ee I guess you would say, will remain nameless. Well, because Elle and I are like 12 or 13 year old children we continued to text back and forth about this subject. I was laughing out loud (literally) when I was reading her texts, I don’t know if you will find our warped sisterly sense of humor amusing, but I thought I would share it anyways. And Mum, sorry for the excessive “shit” use on today’s post. Here goes:
ELLE: Just got a call that “so and so” has to have X-rays because she’s so constipated or literally full of shit.
STACY: Wow thanks for sharing that
ELLE: If my plans get messed up because of “Full of shit so and so” I will be stressed out!
STACY: That would be pretty shitty.
ELLE: Holy Crap!
STACY: Crap in a crap basket.
ELLE: The shitters full.
STACY: POOP-people order our patties.
ELLE: Oops I crapped my pants!
STACY: You’re shitting me!
ELLE: Same shit different day….literally
STACY: You scared the shit out of me
ELLE: No shit sherlock.
STACY: Shit for brains!
ELLE: Now the shit is really going to hit the fan!
STACY: You’ll be shit out of luck!
ELLE: Up shits creek!
STACY: Wipe that shit eating grin off your face!
ELLE: Shitstorm
STACY: Shitzu
ELLE: Shit on a shingle
STACY: Shittake (mushroom)
ELLE: Does a bear shit in the woods?
STACY: Happier than a pig in shit!
We probably would of kept going but J-Man was playing with Elle’s phone. And just for the record, it’s hard to think up a “shit” saying off the top of your head without googling it!
Elle:
For the record I didn’t have to Google any of them or have anybody that could help. Not like I was going to ask my kids. Just sayin’. I can’t wait to see the keyword searches from this post. Also, for the record and for Mom, I never actually say these things. My worst expression is crap in a crap basket.
Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?
Stacy
I distribute the mail at work. Today I was waiting for the receptionist to sign for a couple letters so that I could bring them over to the mail station with the rest of the mail. I said one thing to her about one of the letters, and she snapped at me and threw it across the desk at me like a Frisbee! What The Hell? I just said one thing about it! I was actually just trying to be helpful and for the record I was being nice. This is one of the reasons why I don’t like people, they’re moody.
Last week when we went to Bugaboo Creek my youngest had to go to the bathroom, of course. I swear he just likes to check out the bathrooms to see how clean they are and what their soap smells like. Anyways, I wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom alone, he’s almost 10, but I still don’t think it’s safe for him to go to the Men’s Room alone. So I made my almost 12 year old go with him. I figure there’s safety in numbers. They both gave me a hard time about it, but that’s the rule. A little while later I had to go the bathroom, and when I excused myself my youngest said, “you want me to go with you??”What The Hell? That kid is only going to get worse with his wit and sarcasm!!
I saw a story online that a couple was caught having sex by Google Earth. What The Hell? I don’t know if this is true, but I hope not! Talk about invasion of privacy! I haven’t used Google Earth in awhile, but my kids like to use it. Now I’m going to have to keep an eye on my kids when they use Google Earth!
I just saw a commercial for a new movie coming out….Piranha 3D. What The Hell? I’m not a big gory mov ie fan, so I really don’t want to see blood and guts coming at me in 3D! The piranha’s looked pretty weird too! The preview was pretty gross just in 2D, besides it looked like one of those lame Sci-Fi Saturday night movies. I think I’ll pass.
Elle
We have a pterodactyl in our yard. Scoff all you want, but he’s there. I saw him again yesterday and he’s huge. He had a horrible screaming call as he flew into the neighbor’s yard. He landed in one of their trees, still screaming. Then he lifted his tail and there was this huge shower of bird crap. What The Hell???? I got J-Man to bring me my camera and set out to hunt the prehistoric pterodactyl down. He was back in our yard by this time and was still doing that horrible scream that was now driving my dogs crazy so of course they started barking. He was up high in the trees and I knew I was getting close, but I didn’t want to get too close, especially after seeing the shower of bird crap. So I’m ducking my head, like that was going to protect me from the crap shower, and trying to find him. Finally, I spotted him about 20 feet up in the tree. This is the best picture I have of him. He flew off and I haven’t seen him since. But I’m pretty sure he lives in the woods behind our house because this is the second time I’ve seen him. Any ideas what kind of bird he is? He’s pretty big and his legs are longer than they look in the picture.
As of 9:01 last night I am officially on vacation!!!! Woot! What did I do last night to celebrate my almost 3 weeks of freedom? I got home, ate dinner at 10pm (can you say heartburn all night?) and then threw in some laundry and cleaned out all 3 litter-boxes. What The Hell??Do I know how to party or what? I’ve got a ton of stuff to do before we hop in the family truckster and drive down to Florida.
Apparently I didn’t get the fashion memo that you should match your hair to your shirt and sandals or maybe you’re supposed to match only when you are wearing purple. At my last blood test there was a woman, and not a young woman by any means, with purple hair, a purple shirt and purple sandals. Okay, maybe not so bad, but on her shirt was one of those big yellowish-greenish tree frogs. Okaaaaay, but the clincher was the matching, and I do mean matching, frog purse. What The Hell????? I wanted to take a picture soooooo badly but my phone makes an obvious “click” noise and I’m not that mean. Plus she might have beaten the crap out of me with her frog purse.
If it’s Tuesday this must be, Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you!
Stacy
The other night I got to use my Employee of the Month gift card to Bugaboo Creek. During dinner my almost 12 year old son looks around the restaurant, looks at me and says, “this is the fanciest resturaunt I’ve ever been to.” If you’ve never been to Bugaboo Creek, let me tell you, there are a lot of dead animal heads on the walls, some actually talk, and fake fish flap their tails like they’re dying. Yep F A N C Y! Maybe if you’re a redneck.
While at Bugaboo, it must have been some one’s birthday because out of the kitchen came about 6 Employees clapping and singing Happy Birthday. I glanced over at my youngest son who is almost 10, and he was just utterly appalled! The look on his face was priceless! Then he noticed they had a huge stuffed moose, and made the birthday person kiss the moose. He said, “does everyone who has a birthday have to kiss the moose?”. I said, “Yea I guess so, why?You don’t want to kiss the moose?” Him: “NO!! If everyone kisses that stuffed animal with their lips, just imagine all the gross mouth germs all over the moose!” He is a bit germ-a-phobic, but the kid does have a point, ewwww!
I just realized that I’m not really doing this post correctly, I mean I’m suppose to write random thoughts I have, like how I hate skinny jeans on men, and they just make them look stupid, not stories that have happened. Technically if I had used the stories from above I could of had a post or two. Oops….
Have you noticed that a lot of people on Facebook are bi-polar? Seriously, there could be a status update from someone that says, “I love life so much!” And then 10 minutes later the same person writes, “OMG I can’t stand people, they suck and so does my stupid life!!” This is why they get un-friended so much…just sayin’
Elle
I only have to work 4 hours tonight and then I’m done until after vacation! I can’t wait! I might be there physically, but in my mind I’m already on vacation. I’m guessing the frozen margaritas will have to wait another day. Work probably wouldn’t appreciate it but maybe if I brought enough for everyone it would be okay. Remember back in school there was that teacher who said “Unless you brought enough for everyone put it away.” I always wanted to be the kid who actually brought enough for everyone just to bug the teacher.
I’m getting better with my new phone. I’ve only made a few accidental calls today. I downloaded a flashlight app and passed J-Man my phone. He was all over it. I’m thinking I should’ve asked my 8 year old son how to use my new phone. Maybe the cell phone gene is the same as the video game gene.
I love this commercial. I don’t have any patience for drama and this is totally the type of therapist I’d be.
Don’t forget to join us for What The Hell Wednesday tomorrow!
Saturday night my husband discovered that I was eligible for a new phone upgrade on our plan. Next thing I know he’s heading out to the Verizon store to just look and then he came home with a new Palm Pre Plus for me. Of course I didn’t read the directions, I just started playing with it and then somehow I synced up my friends list from Facebook into the contact list of my new phone. Oops. I really didn’t mean to do that. Then as I was trying to edit the contact list the phone started dialing and I was calling Anne from Small Town Mommy at 11:30 at night! OMG!!! I was trying to hang it up but this was my first call on the freakin’ phone and it wouldn’t hang up. I can hear her voicemail and I’m saying “OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP!” Finally it hung up but the damage was done. I could imagine waking up the whole Small Town Mommy household and then when Anne saw who called she’d be like “WTH?? Crazy internet stalker!” Sooooo if you are one of my FB friends and you get a random call it could be from me, at least until I get this new phone figured out.
Wednesdays are great for Wordless and Wordful posts, but we decided to go a different route and create our own Wednesday fun. We figured what the hell. That’s how we started What The Hell Wednesday. Who are we kidding? That’s pretty much how we decide on almost everything. If you want to play along, grab our button on the sidebar, link up to us in your post and don’t forget to sign in to McLinky below. Really, what the hell?
Stacy
I really can’t complain about the weather this summer. It’s be 90 degrees or higher pretty much every day. Compared to last year’s weather this is great. I just get aggravated with the weathermen. Last night on the news they said it would rain tonight into tomorrow morning, well now this afternoon they said it won’t rain until Wednesday afternoon. What The Hell? Can’t you figure this out? My kids go to a camp that’s weather dependant, I need a more accurate forecast. Considering my family lives 45 minutes away I really need to figure out what to do with the kids. Last week they cancelled and they stayed home. I can’t do that again!
I like to color my hair every month. And I like to change my hair color pretty much every time. Lately I’ve been coloring my hair blonde. I have tried 3 timesto go blonde, and each time it turns red! What The Hell? I don’t want red anymore I want blonde. It shows on the box, “if your hair is this color it’ll turn this shade of blonde”. Guess what, mine doesn’t, it turns red!!
This morning I was walking my dog before I went to work. He took 10 minutes to find the right smelling place to go poo! What The Hell? You’re just going to poop, do you really need to “smell” the right place to go? And he always takes twice as long when I’m running late!!
Elle
So yesterday morning, I’m walking the dogs and talking to my mom on the phone. While we’re talking she gets on her computer and I hear her say “Anything new on Blue Monkey Butt? Oh, it’s Tuesday and it’s just reruns.” What The Hell Mom? I told her that her comment was going to be a What The Hell. Good thing she has a sense of humor…right Mom? Right? Actually, now would be a really bad time to make her mad since she’s coming out to stay at my house and take care of the pets and house while we got to Walt Disney World to pick up our Disney Daughter. Oops. What The Hell did I just do?
There was another lady in the restroom using her cell phone. It wasn’t just a quick conversation either. What The Hellpeople???!! I really think the any restroom should be a cell phone free zone. I don’t want to share a restroom with someone on the phone and I definitely don’t want to be talking to someone while they are using the restroom. Really! Ewwwwwwwwww! I like to multi-task as much as the next person but enough is enough. Maybe we should start a pledge thingy like Oprah and have everyone sign it pledging to not use their cell phones in the restroom. What the hell do you all think?
What The Hell? Who eats M & M’s for dinner? Oh, ya, that would be me. There were M & M’s at work and I may have eaten a few. Who needs a real dinner when you can have chocolate in a candy coated shell?
We're 2 sisters who blog about whatever captures our interest. We don't take ourselves too seriously and we're both pretty sarcastic. We've got husbands, kids, dogs, cats, jobs and crazy, busy lives. If you have a product,or say, for instance, a trip to Hawaii or Disney World that you want us to review on our blog, please contact us. If you like what you read, or don't, leave us a comment. If you're Phil from the Amazing Race, we'd love to try that out, although neither of us knows how to drive a standard. Could be trouble, that's all they ever drive on that show. Thanks for stopping by. elle@bluemonkeybutt.com stacy@bluemonkeybutt.com
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