The Sharks are Circling!

I know, surprise surprise Stacy is writing a complaining, ranting blog, like that never happens right?  Okay, first off a warning.  IF YOU ARE ELLE & I’S DAD OR BROTHER OR ANY MALE RELATIVE YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP READING THIS BLOG!  REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!! THERE WILL BE NO COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW GROSSED OUT YOU GOT BY READING THIS!! AND PROBABLY YOU TOO MUM!

Here goes, I hate being a girl sometimes because of the wonderful thing called your period.  Yep, I said it, told ya you wouldn’t want to read this blog, and believe me it’s gonna get a lot worse!  Elle & I both have thyroid problems, and I have endometriosis, so both of us have screwed up periods.  Mine lately consists of spotting at 21 days, then about 3 days after that, BOOM!!! there it is, and it is TERRIBLE!!!  I mean, can’t leave the bathroom because you are bleeding to death. (told ya, bad huh).  I was talking to Elle one day about her and mum going on a Whale Watch and she came up with a saying about when your period is REALLY bad- “THE SHARKS ARE CIRCLING”  I think you can put it together what she meant by that!  So then after 2 days of living in the bathroom it hangs around for another 5 days.  Apparently I only don’t have my period for like a week or something.  WTH!  It’s expensive too!  When it’s that bad, you can go through a whole box of products in a day!  And I’m not one to buy the gigantic mega-box of tampons or pads that you can get at BJ’s or Sam’s Club!  Speaking of products……I did notice a product one time that I would never ever use, it’s called “INSTEAD”.  Let me explain what this product is, from what I read on the back of the box.  It is a little, round, flat device that looks like a diaphragm.  I guess you put it inside and it holds everything until you take it out.  It says you can have sex, play sports, and go swimming with no problem.  Um, yea, I don’t think so, first off if your period is very bad I just visualize everything building up, and then POP!!! the pressure makes the thing let go and you have a gusher!  That would be soooo embarrassing!!  I mean how do you explain that when you are just gushing everywhere??  “Call an ambulance some woman is just bleeding everywhere, maybe she’s been shot.”   (I would definitely go with the “yea I got shot”)  A guy must of thought of that, I mean c’mon why would you want to put something there to hold it in?  That’s not comfortable!  I mean, eventually everything has to come out!  And I’m thinking it’s not that easy to put in!  And what if it’s not centered correctly and you go swimming in the ocean…….well, if you see Sharks circling I guess you’ll know that it didn’t work and INSTEAD of being safe you will be shark food!!!  ~Stacy